What type of boyfriend you desire for? Of course somebody that always gives you a support in whatever you do, love you with all his heart, always there for you and never ever put you down no matter what. If your boyfriend finds fault in almost everything you do, can you still find happiness in the relationship or should you bail out now and salvage what’s left of your self-esteem? When is the last time he says something to compliment who you are or reinforce why he loves you so much? Can’t remember? Then consider the flipside when was the last time your boyfriend had a go at you? If the list of negative comments is so long it’s shocking to contemplate, it could be time to take stock of your relationship and what effect it’s having on your emotional wellbeing.

The fall-out can be enormous causing you to feel depressed, pass up career opportunities, and start self-abusive behaviors like starvation dieting and generally lose all your joie de vivre. Is it pity? So, why on earth would you stay if he never has a good word to say about you, right? Often a putdown boyfriend is so successful at character assassination he leaves you feeling hopeless and unattractive and you fear nobody else would want you. Though a controlling boyfriend may constantly point out your shortfalls, he doesn’t really want you to change, what he wants is to have as much power over you as he can get away with wielding, says women’s counselor, Tatum Cummings. To get that total control and keep it, he use a number of techniques some subtle, some forceful all designed to keep you under his thumb.

To all women out there, if you recognize any of these in your love life, rethink the romance or at the very least give your boyfriend an ultimatum that you’ll walk unless he starts mending his ways. Don’t be scared of losing him, he’s not the only guy in this world - so be dare stand up on your own feet. Here are some tips to watch out for:

• Disregard your Opinion

You’ll never be the first thing in his mind when something goes wrong in his life. He never asking for your opinion or even to share his problems with you seems like you’re not exist in his life. He’s rather take the opinions of his mate, his boss and the women next door more seriously than any viewpoint you express. Are you eager to treat like a doll to him? Unless you’re happy with someone who thinks he can teach you about everything, devaluing your opinion you need to confront him about his behavior: Point out how differently he listens to, and respects everyone else around him, then ask him why he doesn’t do the same courtesy. When he can’t give you a suitable explanation, explain that you can see he’s trying to put you down to pump up his own self-esteem.

• Illogical/Bad/Cynical Jokes

Does your boyfriend nonstop coming up with jokes that you think is not funny at all but hurt your feeling. You know that and he knows too but he really like to see you face expression when he making a jokes or in the other words intentionally to put your down. Don’t be fool! Those seemingly harmless comments are not harmless at all when their aim is to make a fool of you or chronically criticize. It’s not too late for you now to refrain from those night mare and get the help from your family and friends so you’ll be able to rebuild your confidence. Realize that the problem is not in you but him. Know that he was the kind of person who only looked for the negative in everything and had no desire to focus on the positives in his relationship or in his life.

• The Internal Attack

He never satisfied about everything you’ve done job you have, your choice of outfit, the DVD you brought home, the amount of money you spend for your beauty treatment or even the length of time you spend in the shower anything can become a subject for criticism. You might try to make light of his reproofs, but be honest, would you put up with these kinds of comments from your best friend? Of course, you wouldn’t and in your love life your standards should be higher not lower. If he did constantly keep hurts your feelings and less cares about you, know that he doesn’t love you enough or he doesn’t love you in a healthy way.

• Problem with Women

Actually nowadays, some men do not satisfied or felt jealousy with what women can do and their achievement - and sometimes women can do jobs better than them. But women didn’t realize it themselves, some men have problem with them they feel that equality has gone too far and aim to redress the balance by putting women back in their rightful place. If you realized that your boyfriend just a misogynist, use the knowledge to help you reject his putdowns remind yourself the problem is not you, but the fact you belong to womankind.

• Passing the Buck

In whatever you do for him, he always trying to find fault on you to slant his accusations so you end up feeling bad about upsetting him. Mostly women tend to felt guilty when their partner criticizes them - think that they’re suppose to be blamed. But one thing you have to remember here, no matter what you did he find fault anyway. The putdown nothing to do with you, all they want to do is to sets unreasonable standards for you expects you to live up to even though he could never live up to them himself. Remember! Don’t fool by him if he tries to convince you that his behavior is motivated by care for you don’t buy it. His caustic comments have nothing to do with love. You know it!

• Me-Centrism

Anything you do, whatever you say, any action you taken everything is for him and you spend most of your time with your boyfriend trying not to upset him, prove an embarrassment or irritation or let him down? But did you ever taken your feeling into account? Men who try to control their partner through criticism are usually skilled at getting their needs met because they focus on those needs so intensely they take on mythic proportions, says counselor Tara Atkins. In every relationship, we need respects, loves, encouragement and being treat well instead of being totally ignored and often derided by our partner. Ask yourself what you want in your life? Then choose the best for yourself and your future.

• Shooting Down Ideas

Did you boyfriend ever says that you’re not going anyway or don’t have any chance going up because you don’t have brains! No matter how good you did in your job, he always do criticism make you feel useless. You felt like you’re not going anyway without him by your side. This feeling is very, very bad for you and your self-esteem. Trying to get away yourself from this shell and slowly rebuild your self-esteem and you’ll realize that there’s more and more opportunity waiting for you. Don’t let his criticism affect your identity and limit your goals in life. Believe me you’ll feel great about who you are and where you’re going to be.