Arghhh…Does your man blowing hot and cold sometimes and you don’t know the reasons why? Its must be annoying and make you headache, don’t you? Well, dating a guy whose moods that changes just as abruptly is very challenging but sometimes can bring to difficulty or misunderstanding in some relationship. It’s natural for men running a little hot and cold even though he was the most lovey-dovey person in the world. Can’t believe it? J…Wait….after a year or two of relationship, he will show you. Just get ready gal. But it doesn’t means guys who always turn into hot and cold is a bad signs for you both or because you did something wrong. No, sometimes their actions are nothing to do with you at all, but because they also have a physical reaction to stressful situations. And men are more likely than women to act like a fluorescent light bulb on the fritz. Wonder why?

“The same auto-pilot reaction that makes men go into a fight-or-flight mode in response to stress – meaning they either become super confrontational or they hide – causes them to avoid emotional conflict,” explains Dr Linda Yniguez – a licensed psychologist and host of an Internet radio show on adrenalineradio.com. Whereas women, are tend to respond more calmly to such conflict because they produce more of the mood-regulating hormone oxytocin than men – that’s why they don’t flip-flop in relationships so much.

So how do you deal with your mood-swinging man? Not easy, right? The best way is you have to get to the bottom of what’s causing him to clam up. Whatever it is, they must be a reason why and if you love your man and don’t want to be ignored all the time, be patient and learn to understand and trying to face it together. Here, some common cold-spell culprit and how you can nip them in the bud.

Culprit #1 He’s distracted or trapped by his own problems

Men who are under stressed or distracted by any other issues in his life tend to act cold to their partner and rather to be alone without any intention. And if your man being cold with you, don’t make any conclusions he might angry with you or you already did something wrong – because his distant mood may have nothing to do with you. When men working through some problems, they’re prefers to keep their mouth shut rather than sharing with their partner. He needs some space to think how to get out from the troubles without involving you onto his problems. He didn’t realized he had been neglected you, less focus and already make distant between you both. And he thinks he did it for you both good, but actually it hurts your feelings.

You might losing your temper when he treats you like a doll, but don’t give up too soon. Try to ask him what causes to his silent and cold mood? It shows you’re care about him and want to share any problems that playing over his mind now. Don’t follow his silence way because it will make the situation even worse and create more distance between you too. Try to get his attention by asking anything that revolves around him these few days - how his works, parents or closet friends is. Maybe from those talks you can get some clues to his odd behaviors. But don’t get too pushy or you’ll make he runs away from you. Make it slowly and do with patient and loves, he might open his heart to consider sharing with you. So, things will get clear without any fight or misunderstanding.

Culprit #2 He’s not ready going too far or doesn’t want to get too serious

It’s not surprise when he suddenly being distant right after you sends a signal that you’re driving faster down the relationship road than he is. But don’t assume his distant attitude means he doesn’t worship the ground you walk on. Men love intimacy and closeness but when it comes to wedding topic or something more serious, they instantly retract that lovey-dovey by being distant. In other words, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression about his deep feelings too soon. Some people say guys see relationships as pendulums. Is it true, guys? When it swings too far the affectionate side of the pendulum, they think that they’re going too far. So, they instinctively jump back to convince themselves. ‘Hey, I’m still my own man.” If you think your guy has commitment cold feet, don’t show him how excited you to have family of your own unless you’re very sure he want the same thing or he tells you himself. You can silently plan your honeymoon, but don’t put too much hope. He might not your future groom.

Your friend might tell you to back off so he’ll realize how much he misses you. But it best if you tell him indirectly about your feelings towards the relationship. Simply let he know you’d like to spend more time together but don’t put pressure on him to say the same thing. It’s better being honest and tells the truth, and if he can’t deal with it, he’s not the one for you anyway.

Culprit #3 He plan for something big but afraid to scare you off

What is it? Surprise…maybe he’s secretly prepare for engagement ring and plan to propose you , but he’s worried that you don’t feel the same way, so he gives you the impression that he’s pitched a tent on Pluto. It’s funny when guys doing something crazy just because afraid of being rejected. He might give you a call and say “I love you” surprisingly or sends you an intimate, heartfelt e-mail just before going icy. Its normal guys need some space and being distance when they want to do something big in their life especially if it is something to do with the one they love and their future. What you can do is get him back from his distant planet by asking him out or e-mailing him first. Guys…no matter how strong they are, but if it involves their pride as a man, they just back off, terrified of being humiliate by their partner. They just want their partner to reassure them that they’re interested with things he did.

Culprit #4 He’s not comfortable going public with his feelings

He loves you so much and he’s also Captain Affectionate when you’re alone but clam ups in a group; or only opens up after he’s had a few drinks. Some guys are uneasy holding hands or calling by your cute pet name in front of other people. So, it’s only you “honeybunny” when you both are out of earshot of his friends. “It’s common for a man to think that if he’s too loving towards you in public, people will judge him as less of a man,” explain Dr mark Goulston, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at UCLA and author of the book The six Secrets of a Lasting Relationship.

To get over his uneasy feelings you should try share something about yourself first as an emotional open-sesame plan. Try to attract his attention by story him about some other relationship which facing almost the same problems with yours and the couples always end up with fight when there’s less understanding between them. If you start the chat and he looks at you like you’ve have suggested something very bad, try a compromise. “The next time you try to kiss him in public and he shrugs it off, lightheartedly say, “Okay, I get the message – you don’t want the kiss in public, but will you at least hold my hand?” suggests Evelyn Cohen, a marriage and family therapist and co-author of Couple Fits. “If you approach it like you’re bargaining – not demanding – you might find a trade-off that makes you both happy.”

Culprit #5 He thinks of break up

For men, even they’re very sure to end things, but it’s not that easy for them to bring it out in the open and they still want to think again to reassure themselves what they do is the right thing to do. And to do this, some guys take more than enough time to think and at last choose to leave their partner without any notices. Cruel enough? And for those who more brave, they might keep distant for a week or a month to find a courage and the best way to bring things out. You can see his distant moods consistently outweight his cuddly ones when he about to change his mind. Normally, he doesn’t want to answer or say there’s noting wrong when you ask him what’s up with his moodiness. “When a man wants out, he’ll often take the all-around easiest route: He’ll act miserably so that you’ll kick him out,” says Dr Goulston. “That way he doesn’t have to do the dirty work and look like the bad guy.” But being like that he’s look more despicable and hurt his partner feelings even more.

If your man trying to keep some distant between you, take the upper hand. Say something like , “You don’t seem like you’re into this , so lets take a two week break to think about things.” Then after a two weeks, see how you both feel. Whether it’s you or him will be asking for break up, you’ll see. You think how bad he treats you these lately - always show ed up late and didn’t call you for quit long time vacation. So, what are you waiting for? Say good bye before he did. Then he know how cruel he is and he deserves for reciprocation.