Marriage Fail – Why There’s Broken Relationship

March 7, 2010 by  
Filed under Relationship

When it comes to relationship matter, no matter how genius a person is, most of them fail to

find the best solution to save the relation. Why? Why most of the relationship that was built because of loves never ends with good ending & happiness? Most of it happens to the married couples and some of them just ignore it. Is it because of modern lifestyles or our peoples already used to the divorce which means nothing to the society? There’re lot of reasons given by few couples that facing this problems saying that maybe there’s no more chemistry between them or married too fast or too young causing the divorces.

Nowadays, it very common to hear cheating spouses. And who’s to blame? And maybe you also face the same problem with or without your consciousness. Were there any signs shows that your partner turns over you? Of course you can see the sign if you’re not the one who cheat, right? So, how about it? What are you going to do? Whether they showed signs or not is inconsequential. Like anyone who has been hit with an unpleasant truth, you keep asking yourself one question: Why? And why lots of people out they still want to do it? And why even though you can save your relationship, you choose not to.

Marriage Fail #1 I Deserve Someone Better

Some people never appreciate a little thing happen in their life & always asking for more. “I want this, I want that… you not there whenever I need you… you never listen when I talking to you…or you never pay much attention whenever I need it…” Lastly, “Only after all the difficulty we’ve been went through together, I’m sorry; I only realize that you’re actually not the right person for me.” Do you ever ask your partner about your need? Do you ever improve your communication? Do you spend enough time with your partner? When you start to think he not good enough for you or neglected your need, no matter what or how he do to please you, you also still feel like you’re not getting the loves / needs you deserve.

When the communication start to breakdown & you doesn’t care about him anymore, you try to find someone else which you might think understand you better than him. Telling yourself a new person is caring and understands your need at the early stage of the relationship is not something special or something you believe can last forever because he just guest your needs & desires is all well & good but what happens when their fortune-telling skills come up short? Then they move onto someone else still using the same excuse; “no one understands them like (fill in blank) does”. Blaaaaa..blaa…..never ending story & if you not changing your attitude you’ll never find someone but you’ll lost all of them & the happiness.

Marriage Fail #2 I Need More Pleasure & Satisfaction

Many couples at the early stage of relationship full with passion & love seems appear endless. As time goes by, with a busy work, environment & people around you, the connection between you & your partner slowdown slowly without you realized there’s changes in your routine as the communication also become cool off. The love & lush once burning like fire guiding your love but once you deny the present of isolated acid rain shower on it without do anything, it will become heavy and when you start to realized, of course nothing much you can do to save it from getting wet.

As alternative, you look elsewhere to find that fire going again. You might find it, but without making the commitment to build a solid foundation, it will only be a matter of time before you start searching all over again. May be before you decide to leave your partner & plan to start new relationship, it’s better to think deeply & make a right decision without regret it in future. The best way is try to find the solution with your partner; discuss & find the cause of the problem & improve by concentrating at each part where you’ve been neglected before. With pray & love that already born between both of you will bring you to the good ending. At least you try rather than didn’t do anything, right?

Marriage Fail #3 I Can Do What I Want

This type of attitude upon happened to working couples where the communication is very less and each person is successful in their career where when they do something wrong which they think challenging themselves without knowledgeable by their partner especially at the work area or other country making them feel exhilaration and successfully. You think that if he can do whatever he wants, I also can. Because when suspiciousness comes in between couples, sometimes they try to avoid it and don’t want to discuss because of ego & selfishness. To have an affair which you think is other alternative whenever you need somebody other than you partner to give you more pleasure & calming sensation wherever your couple is not there when you need him.

In fact when the stakes are higher and the consequences of getting caught are more severe, this seems to motivate people even more to take the plunge. You know it is wrong but you still want to do it; you feel guilty but you continue the affairs; you suspecting your partner know about it but you keep silence; If all these happen to you, you need to renew yourself & if you still want to enjoy your life & want to make sin… you can continue it… but don’t involves your innocent partner.

Marriage Fail #4 This is What I Want

First, ask yourself what are you going to do if you’re your partner, the victim & your partner is you, the actor the one who first start playing the game & you don’t know what game it is? However, human have a selfish attitude when it comes to own exhilaration. One principle for them: “I don’t care what people say! This is what I want!” Of course, it’s not a weird thing or wrong to get or have what you want. How you can deny yourself the pleasure of someone new and attractive? (Although you know it’s wrong) “Why not I try? I’m not doing anything wrong as long as I not get caught.” Well, humans’ ego is bigger than sea, whether their partner finds out is a moot point. Their ego says go for it and they always do what their ego tells them. Is that what you really want? Sometimes, you should stop using your mind to think but use your heart that will make you become more human.

Marriage Fail #5 I Need New Life / Environment

Are you just come out from the prison because of drug addicts? Of course, not right? Then why you still need new life / environment since you already have it. You have a complete family: Spouse, children, home, car, money, career…… You think you’re not happy. Feel like something missing in your life? Then, what is it? Are you ever tried to find what makes you feel like that? No. Why? Because you think that whatever uneasy or uncomfortable feeling that you have is because of your partner. You think that only he/she responsible to whatever happen to your relationship and you have nothing to do with it.

Do you ever ask yourself why all this things happen to you? Do you ever try to discuss with your spouse on what you feel? If all this things you never do, you totally go to the wrong road out of your scope as a family man / woman. Where is your responsibility as a husband / wife? After many years of happy marriage, you suddenly feel that you need some changes and decide to turn over your partner by having someone else in your life. Sometimes, you need changes in your life, but it doesn’t mean to find someone else but you need to see from positive perspective first by start to find the problem, discuss with your partner, find the solution, try everything to overcome the problem & evaluate the result before you decide to find the comfortable outside the house.

There’s variety reason or excuses why people cheat in their relationship but to scratch the surface will take many years. As alternative, you can probably put the five mentioned above at the top of the list. None of this makes it okay but you have to face or deal in the real world. Infidelity exists; always has, always will. Accepting that fact will guarantee you are not caught off guard by any unpleasant surprises which may occur.

  • Winsor Pilates

Comments

2 Responses to “Marriage Fail – Why There’s Broken Relationship”
  1. Thanks for your well thought out blog post Lily. In addition to your five reasons, the one I noticed very often is that people just don’t get to know themselves. They don’t ask themselves questions like, what is most important to me at a core level. This ability allows them to make conscious choices that they would not have made otherwise.

    Thanks again!

  2. Rebecca Cormaye says:

    Now i’m starting to believe that, “the best way to prevent a ruined relationship, is to have none.” line. How i wish true love still exist, all this “guide”…does this mean that love is like a ( put your favorite game here ) where there are these strict rules to follow that if so will grant you your reward ( love )?

    Does this mean that “love” is only a set of how-to’s, no longer accepting the once cherished form of selflessness and unconditionality?