Everyone’s believe that love playing an important role in relationship and the main reason people decide to end up together is because of love. But, does it true or it just imitations to cover the truth why people always end up with someone that never across their mind to be their lifetime partner. Are there any other strong reasons why these people choose to get together with someone that never in their list? It’s hard to believe, but these days, more and more people are ending up together for a whole host of reasons other than love. Why true love becomes less important for some people and what makes they so sure by ignore love will guarantee a lasting relationship and happiness? Does it really work or it’s just another step to skip too much untrue love? It might be the reason why, but there’s more other reasons why women are giving love a miss. Here, the sheds light on why love is not always the bonding factor….

Reason #1 Great attendance and comfort

Everything that happens around you is under your control. This guy always appears in front of you every time you need someone right beside you. What ever it is - coincident or he’s pursuing you intentionally – he’s already got your attentions. In short, it all starts innocently enough. And to fall in love with him is never cross your mind – he’s exactly not a guy you’re looking for, he’s not attractive, someone who can make you drops your heart or gives you the love that you always desire for. But why suddenly you choose him among all the guys that trying to win your heart?

Opppss….does your evaluation went wrong? No, he’s not your dream guy but the bonus is he seems to be at your beck and call! The best reasons you can give is he’s very attentive and always makes time for you. Most of women like some attention from someone and care especially when they really need it. Give them a feeling of security, comfort and convenience which every woman wanted most in their relationship. As long as this guy care and pay a full attention to them, they don’t have to feel insecure because they knew that they’re going to fall in love with this caring guy. As they spend so much time together, they think one day their relationship will running smoothly as they never lack in giving each other support to go through all the difficulty in their life.

Reason #2 Necessity and thankfulness

It’s not easy when we have to face problems alone especially when you’re far away from your family and friends - there’s no one else gives the support. So, with him around, you no longer have to bear the burdens alone. He’s might not your first choice and he might not even be your last, but he’s been there for you through thick and thin and that’s enough to make you feet grateful and as time passes, he seems increasingly more attractive to you. Is that because you’re already falling in love or are you just thankful and attracted by his resourcefulness? However, it is not possible when you’re falling in love into someone who really cares about you and always be there whenever you need and your whole world change because of him. But, do your gratefulness and his support can make your relationship really work? Or, it just to fulfill your needs?

He seemed to have it all together, both career-wise and personality but you never fall in love with him, you knew it. However, he can give you everything – the future, companion and support. But how long it will be? How about when you already meet your soul mate and don’t need him anymore? Dr Chris Sekar, a psychotherapist at he Gleneagles Intan Behavioural Centre, says, “This is an extremely dangerous situation to be in. When an individual is vulnerable and does not have sufficient internal support, it’s an automatic reaction to seek external help. It’s the classic case of ‘Obligation and Reciprocation’ and though this might make two people come together in the beginning, it won’t necessarily last. Then again, there’s always a possibility the couple might eventually develop true fondness for each other.”

Reason #3 It’s a time and closing date

Timing is so important especially in relationship and almost in everything. When a time is come and when a person already decides and more than eager to settle down, nothing on earth can change their mind. And of course, even that person never cross their mind to be the one, at that crucial time, he seems like Prince Charming! Hard to believes? You know it when your time is come. By the way, deep down you know he isn’t all that spectacular, but soon you start to tell yourself a good thing about him, why you choose him and obviously make him the perfect person for you. You try to ensure that you make a right decision and start saying how he makes you happy and how nice it is to finally find someone who shares life with you, but the heart of the matters you’re not ready to be with somebody, since you’ll take anybody!

Think girl! If before this you’re so choosy in picking someone to be your boyfriend, why now it become so easily choose the one you’re not sure about to be your lifetime partner. You might be tired screening for a perfect guy to be your soul mate, but does it worthy to make decisions because the time is come for you to have a stable relationship? You don’t have to compare him with your past boyfriend because they were much more successful and better-looking. Yes, he’s not the best, but your reasons make sense – he was simply there at the right time and things “just happen”. And the more reasonable thing is when a person is ready to enter couplehood as well as marriage; it’s much easier for them to end up with somebody. Other than readiness, age is another factor why individuals choose to settle down because they are expected to get into stable relationships or get married at a certain age.

Reason #4 Feeling of security

Why most couples keep staying together even though they find out that they‘re not went along very well? This is because they have been staying together for quite a while, so the familiarity is above all other things. But, does it the only reasons? Or they just afraid to be alone again after a quite long having companionship? You and your partner were sure that you both didn’t love each other anymore, but stuck it out because you shared so much with one another. It’s not easy right? Even though your man have been meet someone else in his life, he just can’t leave you alone because when you both together, it felt save and familiar at least remain as good friends.

This situation is more relevant to women who prioritise security, while men deem significant as a priority. Women want security while men want to be seen as an important or significant part of the society, says Dr Sekar. We can say that this is very selfish relationship to put self importance at the first place while devastated the other. This is not only risky but also causes distress to you and your partner. And won’t guarantee a blissful relationship because one of the party is bound to break out of the security blanket circle.

Reason #5 Family factor and culture influence

In Asian culture, family plays an essential role with regards to who we date or how suitable a guy is! This is actually related with respect and to fulfill what their family wanted for because some Asian women believe that their parent evaluation about a good companion is better than they do. It sounds ridiculous but it’s true. Other than that, most of women afraid to tell their parents about their true love so subconsciously take the easier route of choosing a partner they know for sure their parents or family would approve. Well, maybe a guy from the same neighbourhood or the same town or city.

And worst is, in certain family which still hold on into patriarchal systems in their culture hard to accept a guy from another races or other country. So in this case, it’s not so much about love and chemistry as it is about whether the bloke of your choice would fit in with your family. We can say that there are people choose to end up together because their family approves of the relationship. Besides, some women feels comfortable and want a guarantee she will accepted in a guy family, so if the boyfriend’s family treat her well, than he won’t think anymore. That’s a family I want!

Reason #6 Glamorous relationship

The reason I said it was glamour relationship because this girl end up with a guy every girl wanted most. In short word is “He’s too good to let go!” When he was pursue by every girl in the town, you felt good and proud to have him in your hand. So, whether what you felt was love or just to get a trophy, you don’t mind – as long as he’s yours. Even though he’s a guy every girl is after, it doesn’t mean you also crazy about him or in love with him. This is very subjective because love is not same and people see it in different angle, so if you push yourself into the relationship just to get the trophy, for sure, your relationship won’t stay last because it is not you who adore him but your friends. So, why go for it if you both have nothing in common and no matter how charming or gorgeous he is, it doesn’t mean you’re falling with him. That’s sad!

However, this situation rarely happens in adult relationship but typically happens to a younger couple especially during college years, when peer pressure is at its peak. Younger people tend to influence by their surrounding and friends around them. So, their decisions sometimes also depend on things around them because they still in the phase in recognize their own identity and a bit confusing about their own feelings. And when they grows up and knows their own mind this wouldn’t be all that relevant.