People always say that we never learn if we never face failure or fallen down at least once in life – also same with certain situation in relationships. To find the right person, we need to meet the wrong man all the way seeking for true love coming into our life. Has anyone told you you’ve got to kiss lots of frogs before you meet your prince? Assuming there’s a prince waiting for you, wouldn’t life be easier if they really were just frogs and all you had to do was kiss them, and your prince charming appear, waiting for your command. Ridiculous!

Both of us know life is not easier as that. In reality, kissing frogs means having relationships with quite a few of the wrong men before you meet the right one. But the good news is, you don’t have to chalk it up experience. Many things you can learn – you can turn every wrong into a right by learning something about yourself, and finding out exactly what you want from a relationship.

“We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery.”

-Samuel Smiles-

Lesson #1 How to grow up

Every time you think what your ex did wrong to you in your relationships before this, it will help you to be more careful and always think twice before going out and made the same mistakes with the same guy again. You can’t believe that he’s cheating on you about himself – still single and never married before. You trust him with all you heart because you’re in love and still young. You close your eyes to the truth and don’t care what people say about him – ignore your parents’ advices, until one day you realized that he’s not the one you looking for all this time – too old and not your taste. Other than that, he had been married before and at the time you with him, he’s still in divorces process with his ex-wife. How blind you are. Your stubborn head make yourself frustrated, and now you know that even if you want to make any decisions in your life, make it wisely. Don’t let your ages be a reason why to every steps and decisions you make. Make yourself clear and start growing up!

Lesson #2 How to discover which men will always be Mr. Wrong

You won’t believes any rumors you heard about him whether a warning from your mum or even an advices from your friends until you’ve found them for yourself. Even if a man has a bad reputation, you might be determined to find out the hard way, particularly if you fancy him like mad. Everyone says that your man had a reputation to fooling around but you won’t listen because you liked him so much, had fun with him and don’t want to look for trouble with him. But that’s just what happens when you caught him with someone else. Barbara De Angelis, author of Are You The One For Me, has compiled a list of “fatal flaws”, the top three being, violence, infidelity and addictive behavior. She calls the way we avoid seeing this flaws Love Myth Number One: You avoid your relationship problems by telling yourself, “If we love each other enough, none of these conflicts will matter.” Often it’s only by conflict that you find out just how much it does matter.

Lesson #3 How to understand the meaning of “tolerance”

You can see what’s wrong in your relationships: He doesn’t often listen to what you say..He never take a good care of you..And he always flies off the handle. But you can live with all of it. Wait! What’s wrong with you? Just how big is the gap between what you think you deserve and what you actually get? To love somebody it doesn’t mean you have to accept his rules and you become a slave to your relationship. Dr Marion Tysoe, author of The Good Relationship Guide says, “The list of upsetting actions may get longer over time. Behavior that you consider tolerable might have a cumulative effect and become unbearable a few years down the line.” So if you’re barely tolerating something now, don’t think it will just get better or go away – it won’t. With the next man, you’ll know this from the start.

Lesson #4 How to improves your self-esteem

First important thing you should keep in mind is don’t let yourself drawn by people who always put you down. Normally, you won’t realize how bad you felt about yourself until you finished with the man who was always put you down. If you felt better about yourself immediately when you leaving him, that’s mean, you’re already get back your self-esteem. If your self-esteem is very low you could be drawn to men who don’t think that highly of you either. At least that way you have something in common, right? On the other hand, if you have low self-esteem, ask yourself why and what you can do about it, instead of hooking up with a guy who’ll conform your worst ideas. Don’t rate yourself according to who you go out with, a fling with a dumb, but handsome, guy can be a quick pick-me-up for the ego.

Lesson #5 How to decide what you want from a relationship

Do you ever tell your friend that you have so much in common with your man – both of you love rock music, like watching romantic movies, hate crowded places, and so and so. But, a few weeks later you realize that it takes more than a mutual love of soft fruit to make a relationship work. Actually, it was a hard way of learning what really matters in a relationship – nothing nice to share and always being tensions all the time while you were supposedly enjoying all the things you had in common. De Angelis recommends that when you’re trying to decide what you want from a relationship, it’s helpful to have an idea of what you want from life in general. There’s one thing you will learn from going out with the wrong man is how easy it is to figure out what you do want when you don’t get it from that relationship.

Lesson #6 How to perfect the art of arguing

Sometimes when you had problems or conflicts with your partner and causing argument for almost no reason, you always say bad things or curse your partner with very bad words without think whether it works or not in solving your problems – and he just ignored you without saying any word, or just avoid himself to face the problems together. When the situation like pure-attact and counter-attact happen between both of you, you know that it will not end that easy and there’s no guarantee your conflicts will end. So next time, in your new relationships, when you find yourself starting to do the same thing with your boyfriend, think first! Remember, that way wasn’t work last time, so try to discuss it more rationally – stay calm, behave yourself, and talk slowly and you’ll get a better solutions than before. It’s not worthy when you have to sacrifices your relationship or your loves one just because a way you choose to handle argument. Actually, rowing isn’t necessarily a bad thing in itself; it’s the way you do it and how often that can make or break a relationship.

Lesson #7 How to recognize what brings out the best (and worst) in you

What are going to do when you know that he’s not the one who can live with you and can’t bring out the best for you? Everything he does, all for himself – you were on the job you hate and don’t have many friends, so your life revolved around him. You know that but you still kept him company. It’s one thing when he’s not right for you, but do you have to wait until it gets so bad that you’re not right for you either? When you meet someone else who always gives you support and courage to fulfill your potential to get a better life, you’ll realize that there’s much more interesting things to do out there. So, from that experience you know that important for you to choose the right man in your life because whoever he is, it will effect your whole life - yourself and your future. Put simply, the wrong man drags you down to his level, the right man encourages you to fly.