5 Reasons Why Relationship Stay Apart & How To Fix It

September 6, 2010 by  
Filed under Love and Intimacy, Relationship

Why most of the marriage couples still facing problem in their relationship although they are staying together in one roof? Does the working couple facing more hardness in their relationship & lead to divorce? How about woman who stays at home and oppress by the partner? However, nowadays, working women are likely powerful than men in many part of life and some of them become a family leader where as they have to make decision for most of family matters. Where else some of the man most likely working less than woman and stay at home more than woman and doing housework job.

In different situation, a man going out / travel more than the woman and leave a wife alone at home for many days  makes the her feel alone & lonely and start looking for other relationship and the husband which travel a lot also might looking for a partner or worst if he’s working with a woman. Ermmm….. the consequences are hard to determine when things go wrong. Either want to blame a guy because work too hard or a woman because not loyal to the husband. Anyway, a couple has their own responsibility to the relationship to make it work. However, women can fit to men lives easily but does man can fit into their lives? Find out the reasons for broken relationship and what the solution to it.

Fix It #1 Time Together

It used to be he spends too much time with his friends at the pub watching football. But as for you, now you’re headed for Happy Hours at the office café for the third time this week. What happens here is a woman become more successful than a man at work places, it becomes more necessary to share after-hours rituals – as men do – with their office buddies to build up relationships. It’s all part of being a career girl, and most men understand that. But if you chat about stressful sales targets and bald vice presidents after office hours three days in a row and leave him with nothing, but returns on TV and a Coke at home, he’s bound to start thinking of other ways to spend his time.

Normally women used to nag to get their men to come home earlier. However, guys they’re more liable to just find something else to do such as hang up with friends. A busy social life is a sign of success, but not all men want their partners to be successful. Some studies show that successful men are looking for traditional, stay-at home wives. Few girls think that their partner is not part of their work & social life make them tempted to start looking for someone who will. Men feel more appreciated if they’re invited to some of get-together party more often but women think it is not a good idea as they can maintain their professional with the colleagues without a partner. Ermmm….

So, how you want to fix this situation so that both of you can be together? The only way out of this deadlock is to meet half-way. Explain to him that the office gatherings are opportunities to hobnob or make your professional presence felt, and are important for your career progression. On the other hand, if you’re serious in your relationship, you have to spend time together – the very definition of the word “relationship” demands it. So, tell him you want to spend time with him also and be sure to do so.

Fix It #2 Intelligent Conversations

Every time you want to start to conversation, you have to think or sometimes have to study first what is the most intelligent conversation you can bring out as all the time the only thing you could talk to men about grocery shopping lists. And when you start to think about other topic (more sophisticated), you just out of idea as you were afraid he will think that you’re trying to test his knowledge or challenging him. Well, maybe he will ignore you. Actually women are more educated than they use to be. And smarter women are naturally going to demand smarter, more sophisticated conversation. So, when women want to discuss current issues with poorly-read men, they feel more than a little embarrassed – they are mortified. When your men start to think that you will be able to outsmart him at everything, then it is dangerous for your relationship. How you want to fix this?

If you know that his knowledge in certain areas is weak, try not to be tempted to demonstrate your superiority by teasing him. Remember, if the conversations turn towards something you’re not so familiar with, such as football or his favorite’s band, he would be whipping you   instead! Maybe as a couple you should try to stick to common ground in conversations. That way, no one is ever inferior to the other and everything is a lot more pleasant.

Fix It #3 Baby Matters

Who should decide when both of you can have a baby? If before he will jogs to 7-Eleven to pick up a pack of Durex when the weekend rolls around. But now, seems like you schedule IUD replacements with your gynae every few years. Why?

Nowadays, most of women less excited about having babies than they used to be. Babies deal severe stumbling blocks to career progression, greatly affect your investment planning and force you to practically give up your old social circle for a new one made up of mothers and their screaming toddlers – not exactly positive motivation to undergo nine months of pregnancy and hours of painful labour.

Apart of your own concern, your man also thinks about his biological clock which may explain why he’s trying to get you pregnant all of a sudden. They worry because according to study, as men age, the amount and quality of their sperm decline and this translates into a lower chance that any particular act of unprotected sex will lead to pregnancy. What’s more, men are also worried about when they have children due to many reasons.

Well, if he wants too he can’t have a baby without you, that’s for sure. But if he’s willing to take on postnatal responsibility and you can find it in your heart to take on the prenatal tasks, then why not? Yes, it means going through pregnancy and the rigours of childbirth, but it still makes it worth it. The real question to ask here is: “Who has a better paying job?” And if you can answer the question, then the decision is yours.

Fix It #4 Trophy Partners

It used to be…You are his pride and joy….and possession. But you want him to look nice, smell good, sound smooth, feel great and be gentle …all the time.

This called Trophy Phenomenon, and nowadays women are as demanding as men when it comes to how they expect their partners to look. It partly explains why apparently one third of women in the US are dating younger men – because they have not yet developed unsightly paunches, bald spots or bad teeth.

Men have always wanted their partners to be the envy of their peers, but women are catching on. You’re calling more of the shots in your relationships, and this means being able to make more demands on your partners…including how they look, smell and behave in public. Under the old rules, only women cared about how they looked. Physical appearance mattered because there was the constant threat of being dumped for a younger, perlier set of chops. It was a time when women to great lengths to ensure that they remained desirable in their partner’s eyes.

Not so anymore. In fact, one can say the tables have turned. Today, most women don’t need men’s money, so in order to remain consistently attractive to them they’ve got to take care of looks. Naturally, not all these guys take well to new demands on their appearances, fitness level and behavior. Which is why some men have decided to be rather particular about how they are treated in a relationship – they don’t want to be trophy husbands.

For years, women have been fighting to be treated as equals. But now that they’ve got what they want, it seems that they are starting to make the same mistakes that men did…such as claiming “ownership” over their partners, dictating what they must do and how they should behave in order to stay in a relationship with them. Don’t do that.

Fix It #5 Bedroom Positions

It used to be, he says: “Now, bend over…” But now…she says: “Now, go lower…” When women become powerful as men, women are more likely to act like men in bed, that is, to take control and actively seek pleasure. Although this movement has been slow and has only just begun, women are more willing to take responsibility for sex, initiate it, and choosing specific sexual activities such as wider variety of acts.

Your new assertiveness is threatening men’s traditional role as the dominant partner during sex. But for some men, this threat may register subconsciously at other levels of the relationship – they may feel that their power base, whether real or imagined, in the relationship as a whole is under threat, too. Add to the pressure to consistently deliver the fabled “multi-orgasms” and you see why men are apt to feel a little nervous when faced with a sexually demanding woman. It’s not that men’s don’t like it, mind. It’s just a little confusing: They’re grappling with learning to take instructions instead of just giving them. The complete shift in responsibility can alarm less-than prepared men.

To fix the problem, the best way is don’t hog the Director’s Chair. Share the responsibility of your sexual fulfillment between the two of you. This can work by either taking turns as the dominant partner each time you have sex, or by working towards a happy medium of partnership that involves making suggestions instead of giving instructions. You can move from ‘You do this and I’ll do this’ to ‘Shall we try this?’ That way, you’ll stimulate ideas and keep it interesting. You might try and fail but you’ll be happy with the process and the results as both of you are working together.

And that should be more than enough reason to give this power sharing process a go.

  • Winsor Pilates


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