Are you in love? Do you love too much? Apparently all of us do. Women Loved Too Much, When Parents Love Too Much and For People Who Love Their Cats Too Much; you may be ever read these book and this could easily conclude that it is a grave danger to love too much. Sometimes we are so eager to give of ourselves to the one we love — be it a spouse, a child, a friend or even our pets — that often we give without consideration of the needs and desires of the recipient of our love. What if you’re feeling like you’re love too much in your relationship? Maybe you do now J but you’re still confusing. Do you want to know you’ve being over-loved, or do you surround yourself with loving relationships or unhealthy relationships without you realize it? I have no doubt all of us sometimes confusing with our own feelings because each of us has different ideas about what love is. But, it really danger if you’re involved with those unhealthy love. So desirous are we for connection, so hungry for communion with another human, that we forget obsessive love can kill you and your life. Deserved?

When passion is mitigated with a degree of inhibition, when intimacy is tempered with a modicum of reserve, love flourishes. But when all limits are betrayed, love burns out. Throughout our lives, we are involved with many different kinds of relationships as I mention above and much more. Each of those situations has the potential to enrich us, adding to our feelings of self-worth, enjoyment and growth. These relationships are healthy.

Being over-loved is not really such a great thing — you don’t feel loved for yourself; in fact, you often don’t feel loved at all. You feel pursued like some prized object in a raffle — and no one likes to feel objectified. Often such ‘love’ takes on a focus that becomes a consuming obsession; it becomes a necessity to us to make that person love us back. Or, even when the one you love does love back, you become obsessed with keeping that love. Surely such a focus is not godly or healthy for anyone involved. Are you reallllllyyy in healthy relationships? Rethink, before it’s too far; love yourself and save your life! Here are some things to think about when considering whether a particular bond is a healthy one or not:

Symptoms of Unhealthy Love:

• Obsession with relationships. A feeling you have to report back to someone all the time let them know where you’ve been and with whom.
• Unable to endure separation; clinging. You’re discouraged from taking a new job in a new town because it means you won’t see this person so much.
• Try to control or manipulate the other. Discourage you from learning to drive or getting your own apartment they don’t want you being too independent.
• Want to see you every night. Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love May really be fear, insecurity, loneliness. He/She shows intense jealousy and mistrust.
• If you ever say you just want some time to yourself, they’re very suspicious and want to know why. He/She demands control of your time and your life; want to know where you’ve been, who you talk with, what you talked about, why you didn’t do this or that.
• If you try to make a new friend, they’ll rubbish them till you break it off. Discourage the other from being close with anyone else. Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends; interests.
• At its most extreme, may take to stalking you to make sure there’s no one else in your life. Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects supply.

Signs of Healthy Love:

• Keen for you to have a life of your own as well as a life with them. He/She assists you to become your better self and development of self first priority. He/She desires to build life a life together.
• Encourage you to take a new job, even if it means they’ll see less of you; they want the best for you, not them. Meaning giving each other a room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
• Thinks spending some time apart is a good thing. Two of you can separate interest; having other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships. He/She helps you to attain your noble goals and aspirations.
• Not keen to share every cough and splutter of their life with you, nor expect you to with them. He/She shows goodwill and respect towards others. Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
• If you’re driving to another city, they like you to phone when you get there, just to let them know you’ve arrived safely. But after that, they don’t expect constant reports. He/She is thoughtful of your time, your independence. Appropriate trust (trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)
• Loves hearing about your life before you met those who love too much can be pathologically jealous of your past. Take interest in one another’s lives: health, family, work, etc. Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate. Sex is free choice growing out of caring and friendship.
• Keen for you to have other friends, other interests, besides them. Encourage other friendships and have privacy in the relationship. He/She treasure your time alone together, but enjoy being with others, as well.

The question is, Do you feel loved, honored and cherished in your relationship? How can we avoid unhealthy relationships? After understanding the signs and symptoms of healthy and unhealthy love relationships, we need to understand ourselves well enough to detect the motives that lead to an unhealthy relationship in the first place. By learning to love and care for ourselves regardless of whether or not someone is in our lives. Once we identify our own needs we can easily work with others feelings without interfering with our own. When we establish a relationship with ourselves, we no longer have to have needy relationships. Instead we can re-teach ourselves to have giving relationships.

Follow your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right to you with a relationship then pay attention to those feelings. They are there for a reason. Some people can grow together inside their relationships and some may have to grow apart. The key is to look at ourselves and our relationships in their truest light.

Know that each one of us is entitled to have a loving relationship or friendship. We are worthy of receiving love just as we are worthy of giving it. True partnership fills our cups with abundance, joy, and solidarity, a gift that multiplies within our hearts and our families.