Getting To Know Your Partner

March 13, 2010 by  
Filed under Love and Intimacy

How well do you know your boyfriend? Really know him. It’s not just how he likes his coffee or his back scratched. Not just that fact that he’s big on dancing and hates being interrupted during gaming. You may think you two are really tight with each other because you share your bed, bodies and breakfast, but intimacy is not just about physical or sexual contact. To really get to know your boyfriend it helps to understand his deepest fears, biggest passions, long-term goals, and life priorities – what he wants and values most for now and in the future. How do you go about getting this crucial info without making him feel he’s being interrogated? There are few ways to get know your partner closer. You can spend lot of times with him, spying him every way, share your interest and do something together or you can wait your whole life to get know him. Why you want to take so much times to know him while you can play some game to predict what type of man he is.

You can use the following ploys to get him to reveal his inner self. Be prepared though, he might want to turn the tables on you to make sure he’s got a handle on where you’re coming from too!

Game #1 Staring to face game

This game will reveals how he deals with emotions. Sit face to face and stare directly into each other eyes. No matter how you feel don’t look away (you may need to think about your pet cat dying to ensure that you don’t just fall into a giggling heap). Note his responses.

Try to understand what he’s really telling you. If he laughs in an embarrassed way and can’t maintain eye contact, this indicates that being emotionally open makes him feel vulnerable and silly. If he looks away repeatedly or doesn’t want to continue staring, he feels extremely uncomfortable dealing with emotions and talking about his feelings in any way. If he looks at you with intensity and has no trouble maintaining eye contact, he is obviously very at home with his emotions and yours, and is the kind of guy who can not only say “I love you” but can  identify what he is feeling rather than deny it. If you found he was type number three, don’t look back anymore, yeee…..he’s the guy!


This game will reveals how he manages stress. You can pose him this question: Which situation would make you feel the most uncomfortable / anxious?

a) Being stuck in an elevator with a stranger?

b) Breaking down on a deserted road?

c) Sitting beside friends at a dinner party while they keep arguing all night?

Concentrate on what he’s going to answer you. How he answers this question indicates not only how he copes with not only unexpected situations but also which kind of life events he feels most equipped to deal with.

a) If the elevator option is the one that would bother him the most he obviously feels a little uncomfortable about confined spaces and doesn’t like being under circumstances out of his control. He’s most likely the kind of person who feels a little uneasy in social situations, finds it hard to strike up conversation at parties and takes a long while getting to know someone before he feels he can relax and be himself.

b) If breaking down on a deserted road would stress him the most your guy is obviously not someone who feels comfortable with risk-taking or with situations that are on the edge. He doesn’t like to dominate or take the lead and tends to approach something he has never tried before with anxiety rather than viewing it as a challenge. This means that he misses out on some experiences and opportunities because he’s too busy playing it safe. On the upside though, he never gets himself into trouble by losing his head then regretting it the morning after.

c) The friend arguing scenario as his first choice shows that he’s a little uncomfortable facing emotions and that having to do so can sometimes leave him feeling awkward or embarrassed. In your relationship this might at times manifest as an inability to say he loves you even though he does or he may tend to shut off and withdraw when something is wrong rather than talking openly and honestly about his feeling.


This game can reveals what he values in a woman. You can ask him which Hollywood sirens he think is the most attractive and why? There are:

a) Angelina Jolie

b) Jennifer Aniston

c) Lindsay Lohan

d) Scarlett Johansson

If his choice is Angelina Jolie meaning that he likes a woman who is passionate about her beliefs and independence. If he chooses Jennifer Aniston, he wants a partner who’s fun, sensitive and loyal. And if he selects Lindsay Lohan, he prefers women who are wild and unpredictable turns him on. At the other hand, if he likes Scarlett Johansson, he thinks it’s alluring when a woman is both mysterious and stylish.

Fuhhhh…It could be difficult for you if you none of them type, right? Anyway you can straight away ask him, does you a type he likes because the answer should be YES. If not, he won’t selecting you at the first place, right?

Game #4 finders – keepers game

If you want to know how honest he is, this is the perfect way. Put him in one situation where he has just seen a person who was walking ahead of him drop RM 50 note. Would he:

a) Call out so they stop and race over to hand it to them immediately.

b) Wait to see if they realize, then look around to see if anyone else noticed. If they did he would give the money back to the person who dropped it. If they didn’t he would hold on to it for himself.

c) Let them look away so that he can grab the money and put it in his wallet.

If he choose to act as sentence a), meaning he’s a very honest person who you could trust to do the right thing in every situation. He would never cheat on you because he would feel too guilty and would never badmouth you to his friends. If b) is the right action for him, he mostly does the right thing but is sometimes torn between what he knows he should do and pushing the boundary a little bit just to get a small taste of what it’s like to live on the edge. Sometimes, he might flirt with a girl at a party just to enjoy the thrill of it. It’s not a good news if he choose c) as an action. This is because can say that he’s not the most trustworthy guy and tends to make his own decisions without worrying about what other people think is right and wrong. He can be quite tunnel-visioned if he wants something and will go all out to get it, often without realizing how that affects people around him. He would be vulnerable to getting tipsy and going home with another woman if you weren’t there. Beware!!!!

Game #5 the lottery game

If you want to reveal either he approach to money and saving, try this game out. If he won’t RM50,000 dollars what would he do with it? Here are some choices to make:

a) Blow it on a huge spending spree buying things like a new stereo / computer / mountain bike / electric guitar / play station 3?

b) Use it as a down payment towards a house.

c) Spend half of it on a holiday and save the other half in the bank.

If he goes to choice a), it’s telling you that he’s a bit of a spendthrift and wants to find a way to make money quickly and easily without having to work hard for it. That means that he’s not always cautious enough to save money and he has a tendency to run out of money before his next paycheck comes in. If he choose to take action as b), meaning that he’s a practical and organized person – the kind of guy who will only blow big bugs on something if he really needs it and he’s thoroughly researched what he’s buying. He’s a good saver because he has financial plans for the future such as buying a house or going on a big holiday.

If c) is the choice, he knows how to enjoy his money but he also knows the value of squirreling money away. So, although he might splash out on a new jacket or expensive birthday present for you – he balances that out by knowing how much he needs to put aside for all his bills so that he never runs short.


If you like to try this game, it could reveal his personality and nature. Ask him to answer this question: If he could go out right now and buy a brand spanking new car, what color would he choose? The color that he’s going to choose reveals whether he’s an extrovert or introvert and what he’s like in bed.

Red color: He’s somebody gregarious, likes to have a good time, enjoys socializing and has a high libido. You will find him an enthusiastic person to be around but every now and then you might have to pull him up for flirting and might wish he would slow down so that you can enjoy some more romantic time together. He loves to try new things in the bedroom to spice up your sex life.

Black color: He’s kind of guy who likes to maintain a little mystery about himself to keep people around him guessing and thinking he’s interesting. This means he tends to sit back and take everything in and often doesn’t reveal about himself to others – sometimes even to close mates. It’s not because he’s shy – in fact he is quietly confident, knows what he likes and what he wants and is noticeable masculine without being aggressive. At times this means he can be a little opinionated and put his own needs first. In bed he loves to tease you until you are fantastically aroused.

Silver color: He’s kind of person values possessions and loves to make romantic gestures like buying you flowers or organizing a picnic or sunset. You will never have to nag him about dressing up to go out and will always feel that he is looking for you – but sometimes you might have to stand your ground to remind him that you’re capable of making your own decisions without checking his opinion first. He loves having spontaneous sex in places like stairwells or on moonlit beaches.

White color: He likes things simple and uncomplicated and because of that you always know where you stand with him. He’s the kind of person who is very self-disciplined and reliable and will always turn up on time to take you out or say the right thing to your friends. Every now and then though, you might wish he would loosen up, let his hair down and stop taking everything so seriously. Sometimes in the bedroom it would be nice if he let his guard down a bit more and got really passionate.

Blue color: He’s even-tempered and quite spiritual so he has wonderfully close relationships with people and has no problem expressing how he feels about anything and everything. He likes to get out of the city whenever he can because he loves feeling he’s amongst nature. He’s not big on possessions and believes that its being a good person and being intimate with those close to you that brings happiness in life. Because of this he’s a very thoughtful lover.

Yellow color: If he likes yellow color, he’s usually in a good mood and if he has a rough day, he never feels down for long. He loves having a laugh and likes to play practical jokes or do things like start a conga line at a party. He can be a little disorganized and sometimes jumps in to things without thinking fully of the consequences. He likes to spend a lot of time with his mates and that makes you feel like sometimes you have to fight to get his attention. In bed he’s sometimes loud and gets very excited – so sex often energetic.

Green color: He’s an intelligent guy and a deep thinker. He has lots of integrity so he would never knowingly do anything to hurt you and he likes to see the good in people around him. He can be quietly determined about something he really wants to do and thinks ahead because he has firm plans for how to improve his life. In bed he always give you lots of time and attention to make sure you get as much pleasure as he does.

Brown color: He doesn’t like to stand out in any way so he insists you always arrive at parties once things are underway. He refuses to be dragged on to the dance floor and you have to really encourage him to do things like go for a promotion at work. Deep down he is quite a sensitive person. Sometimes his shyness and inability to be spontaneous make you a little frustrated – because he values his privacy, he often want to kick back at home while you want to go out party. But he’s a genuine person who tries to do the right thing. In the bedroom he tends to let you take the lead.

Game #7 Commitment game

This game will show either he’s a stayer or a stray-er. This is considering a bonus question to all guys out there. Ask him to describe what he would like to be doing in five years’ time. This will telling you whether he’s long-term material or just with you for a short ride.

Settling Down: If he talks about hopefully being in a committed relationship and buying a flat, then he’s obviously not commitment-phobic.

Traveling: If he talks about wanting to be a free spirit just traveling country to country to enjoy plenty of different life experiences, then he’s not interested in having someone tie him down.

Climbing the Career Ladder: If this is his entire goal focus then he will probably be so married to his job that he won’t have much time to devote to keeping a relationship healthy and strong.

Game #8 the massage game

This game will reveal his nurturing level. Ask him to give you a half-hour massage without trying to touch you in a sexual way. The aim is just to relax you and make you feel good, not for him to make himself feel good as well. This telling you whether he can really nurture you.

If he completes the massage and you feel fantastic and relaxed: He not only has strong self-control but he has the ability to put aside his own needs to think of yours.

If he gets 15 minutes then starts fondling your thighs: He wants to be able to look after you but sometimes has to really push himself to be nurturing because his typical nature tends towards laziness.

If he wants to start making love within the first 10 minutes: He needs to do a lot of work on learning to think about others instead of just thinking about his needs and himself. It’s important for him to learn that sometimes you can be intimate without being sexual.

  • Winsor Pilates

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