Can you make a guy of your dream love you?
You saw someone who really arouses your attention and you just can’t keep your eyes out of him. Although it’s your first time meeting him, you knew that he’s the one - the guy of your dream and he’s everything you look for in a man. Before this you just see him from far but this time you’re very sure that he’s a man which you’re going to settle down with. Your heart races the moment your friends introduce him to you, some kind of nervous, excited - the feeling you never had before – you knew that you just fall into, “love at the first sight”. You’re crazy about him and want him to be yours, but how about him? There are so many questions here: Does he feel the same way as you did? Do you have a chance to posses his heart? What does it take to get him to notice you, let alone fall in love with you? Can it be possible, or is it only in films and novels that a woman can “set her cap” at a guy and then get him?
Well, most people don’t believe they can get their dream guy but there are some people who confidently that they can. How’s it would be? Does it depend on people personality, intellectuality, appearance or character? What do you think? To me, I believe each person does have their own taste but for sure, looks is not the main point. Although people pay more attention to beautiful girls who have a body to kill, don’t give up and surrender. You still have the chances to get his love. Even if you’re not stunning, it’s worth making the effort with your appearance. It will give you confidence and that’s what really counts. Other than that, communication is important too and it’s not only applicable in serious relationship. If you know how to make the conversation interesting, you won’t believe if after the meet he will ask you out for a date. But make sure you’re not over the line.
Enthusiastic person… Okay, you know that woman who has a good assets or physically desirable stand a much better chance. However, it can’t be guaranteed success too, so although you’re attractive or good-looking woman, never underestimate what men want and how they want to be treated. If you show you’re interested on him and use your advantages wisely, he might fall for you. A man is liked to be pursued, wanted and desired by an attractive woman because this made them feel valued and important, so he reciprocated that feeling. However, we can’t make sure whether a man who fall into good-looking woman were really in love or lust – no warrantee for that because men do tend to judge on appearance.
Research shows that men seem to fall in love a lot earlier on in a relationship – especially if they find the woman attractive. So, the early impressions are important to make them catch you right away. Men are less focused on settling down or having family too soon, so they are often more romantic, loving and sentimental. Besides, men also the one who often bring flowers and does all the wooing at the start of the relationship, so no wonder if they can fall in love quicker in a relationship than women do.
The feeling wouldn’t be the same anymore… But what can you do if a man, who once did declare his undying love for you, now says he no longer feels the same way? Can you make him fall for you all over again? Can you rekindle a love that has sadly withered away? After through all the happy and hard time together, suddenly a man that you hope will become your life partner blurted out that he wanted to finish with you because he reckoned he was no longer in love with you. And the reason he decides to end the relationship because he didn’t feel passion or love of any kind anymore but he still like you as a friend. He doesn’t have any other new girl in his life and that was so sad because his love disappeared just liked that. That’s mean he lost that lovey-dovey feeling at the moment your relationship grown up and the sources might come from you or him either.
So, can love be rekindled once it appears to have died like this? Actually, it can and also depends on the individual – how much she wants to make extra effort to show more interest on her partner. I think many relationship ends up like this – losing that loving feelings but still want remain friends. Many people think that passion will last forever but the truth is, it wasn’t especially when couple neglects the important to shower their feeling while it grown up. People enjoy the feeling of falling in love so, if that feeling wasn’t exist anymore in the relationship, they tend to seek it out with someone else. Although he denied, but that may be what he had in mind.
To keep the relationship alive, first we have to work on the feeling – make your partner feel loves, show your cares and interest on him and don’t make him feel like he was taken for granted. The best ways to get him to love you again is to make him aware with his own feelings. Leave him for a while – go as far as you can and as long as you want but do still keep in touch with him. Give him space to think again and your absence will make he feel how’s life like without you by his side. If he still have that feelings and missing you, that’s means he now realized he still loved you. This time don’t let him feel insecure again, appreciate what you have and always make your partner feel like they just fall in love all the time.
Looking for some space… Get trips away are good and give you both some space to think, however, not all can effort and have time to do so. The other way which might work is making yourself a little less available, but you should know what the right actions to take and what shouldn’t because some men needs more attention, more love, not less. Its human nature wants something they feel they can’t have – especially if they’ve always had it on a plate before. You might do something to bring things into normal but you don’t have to flying abroad – or attend night classes – unless you want to do them. Better if you plan something for yourself, not him, and believe me you’ll feel whole lot better about yourself and no matter what’s going to happen later, at least you already have a shield to protect yourself.
However, there’s a time when relationship going well, but there has been no declaration of love – yet – and you’re wondering whether to stay, wait, or leaving him. It’s really confusing when someone you love and care about doesn’t seem to love you although you’ve been together for quite long time. And what makes you wonder is he really care about you and treat you as someone special and important to him - it just that he never told you that he love you although you’ve been told him many times that you loved him. Sometimes, it’s difficult for some men to express their feeling especially when it comes to a part to say “I love you”. To them, those three little words gives a deep meaning to them and to say it, they have to make sure that they are going to say it to the right person, of course.
Treat him abstemiously… You want him but it doesn’t mean you have to act overly to show or express your desires of posses him. Some of your actions might frighten him away. Guys not really interested with girls who show obviously his feelings and sometimes it might confusing him whether you’re keen or just for fun. So, to make sure you really get his attention, play smart and be nice to him and make clear you’re interested, but don’t be too available either it will be no challenge for him and men like a challenge. Control your emotions and the most important are just be yourself. The best way you can get close to him is by being friend to him first.
Let he know you by himself and what he see in you might be your biggest attraction. Show him your advantages because men like women who have lives and interests of their own and you should always have something going on in your own life that isn’t just to do with your pursuit of the perfect relationship. So, make yourself valuable, have something which make you proud of yourself. If you appreciate, love yourself and love your life means that you’re ready to start the relationship. Develop as many friends as you can and make yourself more interesting person and love by others, so the chances you look more attractive to him are much bigger. If it doesn’t workout with him – don’t upset, regret or sad - you’ve got a lot of friends, and plenty of other stuff gong on in your life.
Love or sexual attraction… However, there are some people who don’t agree we can make people fall in love with us. Therapist Avril Longsman says, “You can certainly make someone fall in lust with you, but not fall in love. It might be a secret fantasy for many women to set their cap at a guy and get him to fall in love with her, but it’s really very far removed from reality.” I think she was right. We all realized that only women who look attractive can make men fall to them in a very short moment even in the first meet. It’s true because the first thing that can attract men attention at the first meet is women looks. Looks seem to be of primary importance for them. So, if he fall in love with you because of your look, he might fall out with you once he get to know you more. He fall in love with what he think you are, not the actual person behind the beautiful face.
When he gets to know you deeper, his love will starts to fade. He’s liked your appearance but not the real you and we all realize it’s really hard to love someone if you don’t love them for who they are. So, no wonder if he leave you without feeling hesitate and fall for another beautiful girl where he can found easily. That’s why it’s much better to get to know the person you want to love you so that the love can slowly and genuinely grow. The best way to get someone to fall for you is let them know you naturally – give them every opportunity to see your best qualities, your charming personalities, your wit, humor and intelligence – not just the benefit of good make-up, slick hair and fancy clothes. However, if you want him to love you for who you are – just be yourself! You don’t have pretending to be others, comfortable with what you have because if he’s right for you, he’ll be yours!
you have a lot of good stuff. I am learning and trying to research more on love shy men and how they think. i think there is mutual attraction but i have high standards and wants him to pursue me but i need to know if i am really his type. I wantto know how men thinks.
Commented by clairest on April 5, 2007 at 9:18 pmHi Clairest, thanks for dropping by. I’m glad you liked the posts. Hope you enjoy them. Well it’s not easy to guess what in men’s mind, but if you think there’s some connection between you two - trust your instinct girl! If you want that guy, it doesn’t mean you have to wait for him to get you - and if you start the wooing first, doesn’t mean you lower your standard. If he is a shy man, it’s easier for you to start the conversation. Try to get know him first, maybe he’s not a type of guy you think. Show him that you’re interested to know him - give him warmth smiles or good morning approach. This will make him feel more confident and relax - and maybe he will do the same thing to you soon. However I got some tips here. Some men doesn’t show if he admire with someone, but you can see their eyes because eyes never lie. See how he looks at you - you can see that shines in his eyes and sometimes he will make eye flirtatiously to you. Men actions also can tell what’s in their mind. How’s he treat you? Does he care about you? Does he took every opportunity to be with you? Does he pay attention more to you than your other friends? If yes, don’t wait any longer. Go for your dream guy!
Commented by MiSs LiLy on April 6, 2007 at 1:23 amLily
Id say yes to all of your questions because it shows in his eyes- there is spark. In his actions. Yes, he shares and gives his food and he doesn’t do that to other girls. And yes I feel I am oweringmy standards if I initiate. But like what you said I already gave him an advance bday gift for because I want to really appreciate him. I still want to give him space enough to realize who I really am because I still wantto be pursue. For now I am inspired and I just really wantto know him. Maybe it’s him, maybe not but I don’t want to miss the opportunity to really know him. I can also do it through email can i? to tellhim that I really want to know him. But will I not look desperate? He may not be my dream guy but i just wantto know him
Commented by clairest on April 6, 2007 at 9:23 amHi Clairest, thanks for sharing. I saw your situations. If you always be his priority, there’s no doubt he’s on his way to win your heart. Maybe he needs more time to get know you and by giving him space to get close to you is a good approach. Maybe you should spend more time and work on things where you can get more attentions from him. This can show how you feel towards him. If you don’t have that courage to confront him, by e-mailing him also a good ideas. You can start by sending him e-cards to great him - and if he gives the responses, you can go for next steps. No such things “desperate” or what so ever. I think he will appreciate what you do and of course he will felt excited knowing that someone interested about him. Do whatever you want to do and don’t forget to trust your instinct. You know that’s the power of women.
Commented by MiSs LiLy on April 6, 2007 at 2:26 pmGood luck to you!:)
Hi!
I just read your blogg, and I think your overthinking things.
im a quite ordinary swedish guy, so you´ll have to excuse my english.
Me and my friends, who are mostly guys, have often spoken about the weird stuff that, mostly american, women belive about men. you seem to think that love is a huntinggame, that you´ll have to lure and play with guys, that you´ll have to read books about how to make a guy love you, that you´ll have to fake yourself to “make a guy” want you. I dont know how it is in america, or other countrys, but to me it sounds like bullshit. The guys who you are trying to attract by dressing up, pretend that your “unavailable”, and by using makeup and strange perfumes, are medieval. guys, ore men, are just like women, they are human being, the differenses ARENT that big.
if you want to fall in love, then, fall in love with a guy who shares your interests, who you can talk to, who you can have fun with.
women seems to think that guys want them to act stupid, most guys dosent. most guys just wants a girl who can be there friend, who they can be themself with, who is smart and funny, who “acts like a guy”, laughs at their owns jokes, speaks their mind, burps and farts if they feel like it and, well, is just fun to hang out with. you realy dont have to pretend to be princesses, thats just enoying.
Sure, ALL humans are apealed by good looks, but realy, most guys dosent think thats such a big deal. As long as your not butugly theres no problem, guys are, just as girls, attracted to MINDS, to THOUGHTS, to IDEAS, to LAUGHTER, to FEALINGS. you dont have to play thoose stupid games, youll just have to be YOU, be yourself and act the way YOU WANT TO BE. then someone will be attracted to that, and if your lucky, you will be equaly attracted to them.
sure, some guys still wants to be the dominant-hunter, but that are, in my opinion, mostly idiots, and why would you want to attract them? just be yourself, stop following stupid ideas made up by television and ideas from the 1950th, and start acting like human beings, dont pretend to be perfect barbiedolls with perfect smiles, because perfect smiles and empty heads are much less interesting.
//henrik
Commented by Henrik on April 18, 2007 at 1:29 amHi Henrik, thanks for sharing with us. I do understand what you’re trying to say. It seems to make sense. You’re right when you said we should to fall in love with someone who can shares her/his interest with us, can talk and have fun with. So, when you’re feel attracted to this person, I’m sure you’re trying to get his/her attention, right? I’m wondering if you interested with somebody but don’t take any actions and just let things happen by itself. I’m not sure if he/she will know what you feel by acting shrug or act like nothing happen around you. No one says you have to be somebody else or wearing heavy make up or whatever, as you said, be comfortable with yourself and don’t have to pretend as somebody else.
Commented by MiSs LiLy on April 22, 2007 at 12:50 amHowever, I don’t think that appearance or personality are not important because that representing ourselves in the first impression.
Thanks again Henrik. Happy you’re sharing with us.
Henrik,
Commented by Hazel on April 27, 2007 at 12:57 amYou really hit the nail on the head! I totally agree with you. Men (smart ones worthy of attention) like interlectual gals more. After all, its the connection of minds that starts the sparks! Pretty faces and empty brain gals are often not for long-term. After all, I remmeber reading somewhere that the child’s IQ depends highly on the mother’s intelligence!!
hi,,,, I recently met this dream guy that I had been literally dreaming about for the past 9 years. I actually created him, each and every detail of him! I first saw him in a picture and from then on I knew he was this dream guy that i created! I met him nearly 3weeks ago, He’s a part of a band and he’s one of he 3 vocalists. I’m not that pretty nor have a drop dead gorgeous body. But he’s been all I’ve been thinking about! I can’t seem to eat well and sleep straight! I mention his name more than i breathe,,, He’s just all I talk about! I have no idea what it means by this! I doubt it that he would even fall for me. We’ve had a little bit of conversation though…. But I was just wondering if there’s any chance that we could be together???
Commented by Missy on October 10, 2007 at 12:24 pm“You saw someone who really arouses your attention and you just can’t keep your eyes out of him. Although it’s your first time meeting him, you knew that he’s the one - the guy of your dream and he’s everything you look for in a man.”
Commented by NinaCF on October 19, 2007 at 12:11 amIn fact to me, till now I have never met a man who I think he is my dream guy.
Hi Nina, nice to see you again. Don’t worry Nina. Your time will come. The only thing you have to do is just go for it. Go out frequently with your friends and get to know new friend everyday by joining various activity or any social club to give variety into your social life. This will help you to widen your choice and by meeting and knowing various character of people you will understand where are you standing now and what you’re really looking for in your life.
Commented by MiSs LiLy on November 17, 2007 at 12:59 amThanks for sharing & good luck to you Nina.
Miss Lily, you have very good advice, haha. I just wish there was a surefire way to know whether or not someone is interested.
I have a friend that I’ve known for over a year now, and he talks to me and spends more time with me than any other of his friends. He does and says all the things that make him seem like he feels more for me than he says, but he always denies it. I think he’s afraid to feel something toward me, since I am a few years younger than him. He’s not exactly shy, but he is stoic.
I’ve told him at least twice now exactly how I feel, and he admitted to me that he isn’t quite sure how he feels. But his actions say otherwise.
Is there a way that I can really, honestly know how he feels?
Commented by Andrea on November 26, 2007 at 4:38 amHi Andrea, thanks for stopping by. I just think about your problems and from how you had explained seems like your friend had kept special feeling for you. However, men are so difficult to be understood. His actions (caring, loving or understanding) maybe have another meaning on his side. He might be in love with you but since you’re far more younger than him, he might be treat you special than others because he love you just like his little sister.
Few men denies their feeling because of egoistic. Maybe there’s reason why he himself not sure about his feelings. And the answers for that only him can answer for you. He might be felt something towards you and for now he still trying to look for the answer and when he ready and sure that you’re the one, I’m sure you’re the first person to know.
You can help him to get the answer faster. Give him the hint that you also have that special feelings towards him. There’s possibility he might afraid you’re going to reject him, so why don’t you do something from your side. Maybe when he knows you have that green light, he dare to show you his feelings.
Thanks for sharing with us Andrea. Hope to hear from you soon.
Commented by MiSs LiLy on November 26, 2007 at 7:55 pm