5 Signs to Know If He Really Sincere Or Just Sleaze Ball?

October 12, 2009 by  
Filed under Love and Intimacy

“Have we met before?” “Your lips look lonely – let me introduce them to mine.” “Your smile is so stunning I need my sunglasses!” What do you think when a guy met you at the first time and asking you such questions? Of course he’s trying to attract your attention but does he really mean it or just trying to check on you? When it comes to pick-up lines most guys are about as original and subtle as a Hollywood actions flick. After all you know that they regardless of what they say what they really mean is “I like the look of you and want to get know you better.” But once they break the ice and engage you in some full frontal talking, how how do you know their real attention? You don’t want to waste your night hanging out with a guy whose only plan is to get you into bed then exit your life forever. Equally, if you presume that every single man you meet just wants a quickie you might give the potential love of your life the brush off – not realizing that he is the real deal. To help you separate the givers from the takers and fakers, here’s what your radar needs to pick up:-  

Lies #1 Roving Eyes

Not the kind that rove all over the room (although if he chatting you up and casing the dance club for other women as well – give him the flick immediately). No, these eye will be roving all over your body – mentally undressing you down to the very last detail. In the middle of talking, or when you bend down to grab your bag, you catch him looking at your cleavage in an obviously ravenous way. When you get up to dance, he starts talking to your legs instead of looking at your face. No matter what he is telling you, his body language says it all – you turn him on and he wants to get to see what under your clothes by the end of the night. That’s why he making more visual contact with your thighs than your eyes. “When a man is really interested in you, his whole body leans towards you almost eagerly and he hangs onto every word you have to say, “ says psychologist and relationship expert, Kohar Segassian. “He may gently wink at you or look a little sheepish and shy when there is a slight pause in the conversation.”

Not so when he’s more physically than intellectually attracted – then he will seem more distracted, less intend on what you are saying and more prone to break eye contact or look you up and down. This lack of eye contact usually indicates a desire too avoid intimacy. “Though we can consciously control where our eyes go, they have ‘mind of their own’ as well and feel compelled to repeatedly look at objects of parts of the body that they are drawn to and interested in, “Segassian explains. “So if man is overriding his attraction to your body, by not looking at your low-cut top, it’s usually a good sign that he is interested in you as a person not just a sex object.”

Lies #2 Clunky Com-on Lines

You can forgive him asking your star sign or using the “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?” line to try to get your attention, but once he’s sitting at your table and you’ve moved beyond the small talk, if he continues with one-liners or sledgehammer innuendo, there’s a good chance he’s got a one-night stand on his mind. “When a man is looking for potential relationship or really wanting to connect with you, he’s keen to move beyond discussion about the weather and what you do for a living to a wider variety of subjects that give someone indication of who you are, where you interests lie and whether you are open-minded or a deep thinker,” says Segassian.

“He usually also keen to make it clear to you that he’s not just after one thing.” So if you ‘ve been chatting for two hours and he’s still dropping conversation stoppers like: “If I said you have a nice body would you hold it against me?” give it up. Confess that it’s been nice getting to know him, but lie and say that your boyfriend is due to meet up with you any minute so you better wind up the conversation.  

Lies #3 Protective of His phone Number

“I want your number” may not sound like much of a demand, but it can be a telling truth-tester in a guy you’ve only just met. Early on in your conversation, exclaim that you’d like to put his his phone number in your cell phone, so that you don’t forget later on after a night of partying. The dead give away that he’s just trying to pick you up is when he sidesteps your request with lame excuse like, “I’m between flats at the moment”, or “I just got a new number and I can’t remember it”. Only waste your time on guys who happily hand over their number or punch the digits into your cell phone themselves. But just to be sure, then in a jokey tone of voice explain that you’re going to call the number right now to see whether he really is trustworthy. It only not show up any dead-loss guy who has given you any old number but not his own – it will give the message load and clear that you’re not a woman who is easily fooled or happy to be messed with. If you’ve gone through this process and he still hasn’t asked for your number then he’s not really thinking of asking you out beyond tonight.

Lies #4 too Touchy-Feely

Alright already – he’s made it clear that he thinks you’ve got a killer cleavage or lips to rival Angelina Jolie’s. It’s great to be flattered but there is a point, where it becomes, well, desperate. You’ll know because to back up his suggestion comments about how he loves hooking up, he will also be getting in your face or wanting to touch you. The guy who is looking at you as a potential girlfriend is far more subtle – he’s likely to brush your hand with his fingers, ask “Can I kiss you?” or move a little closer, so that his leg touches yours. The guy who is trying to pick you up however, will pinch your burn or put his arm around you a bit too forcefully and he will often lean right in and attach himself to your face, without testing the water first to see how you might feel about him planting one right on you.

Give it to him straight. explain that you never sleep with guy’s you’ve just met and that you will understand if that means he wants to cut his losses and go sweat talk some other girl. If he still offers to buy you another drink rather than sprinting out of sight, you might be on to a winner.

Lies #5 How His Friends Relate

Five minutes ago you saw them winkling, nudging him as if to say “you’re in, mate”, now they’re making jokes about how good he is in bed. Sure, this could jest be because his mates like  to rib him – but to make certain, ask them bluntly, “so what has your friend said about me?” Or, “What’s your friend like with women – is he a confirmed bachelor or a serial monogamist?” from the way his friends respond it will be pretty clear what’s he’s after. If they  look sincere when they tell you he’s a great guy looking for a great girl, then kick back and enjoy getting to know him. But if they can’t wipe the smiles off their faces and are fumbling for something to say because what he said about you is not repeatable, there’s your answer, loud and clear.

  • Winsor Pilates

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