Are you on the mood to turn your single life to marriage tune? If you’re ready make sure your partner also ready to ride a same boat with you. A happy marriage is not just based on wine and romance – it’s equally important to ensure your compatibility concerning future goals, expectations and priorities. Are you sure you’re ready for the journey? Are you sure your partner really want it? If you’re still 50-50, then it’s a time to ask yourself and your partner is this the life you really wanted the most? What kind of wedding will you have? Celebrant or priest? A white dress or something in flaming red? Before we even meet the right man, most of us fantasise about our ideal wedding celebration. But when it comes to living happily ever after, whether you should have an up do or flowing curls is the least important question you should be asking.

Most couples talk more about their wedding than life after the honeymoon. But it’s this nuts and bolts relationship stuff (like how many kids you plan to have or whether you want to move overseas), that will influence whether or not your relationship will last t the distance. By discussing your fears, hopes, plans and aspirations beforehand you’ll be able to work out what you agree on and how you’ll negotiate those differences. Here, questions you need to ask before you’re ready to take the plunge:

QM 1 Reason to Get Married

Are you getting married because you’re both head over heels in love or because you both want to keep your families happy? Or are your motivations different to his – are you trying to knot because you see it as the next logical step while he’s doing it because under his religion, living together is considered a big no no? Sit down together and each write down 10 reasons why you want to get married. Opsss…It might be sound ridiculous but you’ll see the result later. These motivators may include everything from “I want to start a family” to “I want the security of a marital commitment”. Hopefully, being in love will feature high up the list for both of you. If it doesn’t then it’s important to talk about why.

Your reasons and your partner reasons might be different and if that’s the case, it’s not a good sign. You want to marry him because you adore him so much or he wants to marry you because he wants to be able to have sex with you every night. According to psychologist, Natasha Collins: “Maybe your different perspectives also indicate different needs in love. The good thing about doing list together is that any discrepancies will become obvious and you’ll be able to talk them through and decide if they might prove a stumbling block in the future.”

Having different reasons for getting hitched doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. If one of your marriage motives is that you want to be independent of your parents and one of his motives is that he wants to start pooling your resources instead of wasting money on separate houses – you might be on slightly different tracks, but they ultimately, are heading in the right direction. As long as you both respect each other’s motives (and neither feels they’re being sold short), then your different rationale shouldn’t pose too much of a problem.

“It’s better to realize now, even though it may be hurtful if the person you’re in love with doesn’t love you in the same way,” says Collins. “It can be an issue if his reasons for marrying don’t resemble yours in the least – it may be warning sign that down the track you might not end up being a good fit after all.”

QM 2 Do you Both Want Children?

If you want hordes of children and he can barely get his head around the idea of having one then this could cause a rift in the future. Obviously, you can negotiate so that you agree to having a few less kids and he agrees to having a few more – the important thing is you’re clear on your position before you tie the knot and that later in your marriage, neither of you is going to feel coerced into something they don’t really want.

May be it’s too early to discuss details, but it’s important to highlight that you really want a family. It can be a hint and you can see some spontaneous response from him – whether he looks excited to elaborate or just ignoring.  This the first stage to know him deeply and by this you can ensure that you and your fiancé are on the same page about starting a family.

If you’re not – because of your reasons and he with his reasons then it’s important to arrive at some compromise now – or your differences in approach could end up leading to arguments, distance and ultimately, even divorce. Similarly, if he really doesn’t want kids and you go weak at the knees every time you see a baby, then maybe he isn’t the man you should marry, even though you love him a great deal.

“Sacrificing something as huge as children to keep your partner happy is a big task and you could end up resenting him down the track and blaming him for standing in the way of your happiness,” Collins points out. May be it’s a great idea if someone suggested yours to borrow someone’s kids for the day to see what issues it brings up for you. Then, you both will know and clear about the real responsibility to handle.

However, the discussion will not only highlight any differences in attitude you have to family and parenting – it will allow you to see whether your partner has the maturity and flexibility that will be needed if he’s to make a great father and a great partner to you once you’ve become a mum.

QM 3 Imagination of Living Together As Husband & Wife

Do you ever imagine something really blissful happening in your life and feels like you want to life another 100 years more? Do you imagine the two of you living on a yacht and raising your kids while travelling the world? Or did you have more of a slower life in mind – with evenings spent lazing on the front porch, soaking up the sunset? You’re probably touched on these topics already, but now’s the time to set the record straight. If you’re city-slicker and he’s a die-hard kampong boy then one of you is going to have a compromise about where you live and the lifestyle you will lead and if so, you need to discuss whether it’s a sacrifice that is just too great.

In the subject of lifestyle – how do you see yourself from day-to-day? And what do you consider important? Will you have pets, plans and religious practice? Will you go to bed around 10pm every night so that you both can get up early and go jogging or your both night owls who prefer  to party late and maximise time in bed? “As your answer these questions it will help you consolidate your goals for your life together,” says Collins.

QM 4 Your Expectation from Married Life

First, ask yourself what do you expect from your married life and what do you want it going to be? If you’re hoping he will stop flirting or drinking, turn into Mr Romantic or be more considerate in bed just because you’re married, think again. The way he conducts himself now in your relationship is unlikely to change a great deal just because he has a ring on his finger. What is likely to change, however, is the way you both view the relationship. For most couples, marriage is a very big step that says, “I’m making the ultimate commitment to you because I want to be with you for the rest of my life”. But why does married life appeal to you more than just sleeping at each other’s flats on the weekend? What are your expectations?

Often marriages break down because people are totally unrealistic about what they expect will happen once they are husband and wife,” says relationship counsellor, Joan Gibson. “Women in particular, can romanticise marriage – thinking once they have walked down the aisle with a man it means they’ll no longer argue, will suddenly develop complete trust for each other and feel more romantic and loving towards each other because they are a permanent item. In truth, saying ‘I Do’ doesn’t bring romance or communication into a relationship. To ensure your marriage has these qualities you need to do the legwork by being a good listener, communicating honestly and making an effort to be affectionate and loving.”

QM 5 Your Plan Goals for Your Future Together  

Do you both want to pursue creative dreams or do you think you should put your heads down for a good five years or so and just focus on your career? Before you start a family do you want to travel or is having your own home more of a priority? Once you start a family do you want to be a stay-at-home mum or would you prefer to have a nanny so you can keep working?

When discussing your goals for future don’t just consider where your career or finances should be headed, think also about where you would like to be in five, 10 and 20 years’ time. Is financial security a big deal for you? Do you like live lavishly or you prefer something simple? “Forward planning is key to working through what you both want in life, how you are going to attain those goals and whether or not you have the same goals,” says Gibson.

QM 6 Your Role as Husband & Wife     

Most of new wedded couples have no idea what is their real responsibility after married. Some men think the millisecond they’re married they can give up their sensitive new-age ways and settle in to being traditional “husband”.  That means after you’ve exchanged wedding vows, he may expect you to do cooking, wash his clothes and let him go out with the boys whenever he wants, no questions asked. But do you think it’s the scenario you’re hoping to be the rest in your life? Better you think twice if your partner seems like given you a kind of idea.

That’s a good reason to talk about what you think a wife’s role IS: To support and love him and be there through thick and thin. Meanwhile, be clear about what a wife is NOT: A slave, a sex machine or a pushover. Similarly, it’s important that he comes clean about what he thinks his role should be because if being your husband makes him think he suddenly becomes the ruler of the roost and can tell you when you should be home or what you can wear, then you’d better set him straight – and fast!

QM 7 Your Strong Spiritual Beliefs

This might be the last thing come out to your mind when you’re in love but when you’re already jump to deeper relationship then this should become an important thing to be considered at the first place as it can give big impact to the strongest relationship after sometimes. It’s true love conquers all or so we like to think – but if he is a Buddhist and you are a devout Christian – will that cause any clashes over the way you want to live, the things you value and the expectations you have of each other as partners? Do you expect your partner to participate in your religious practices or are you happy to go alone? And once you have children, which religion will you raise them under? Make sure you talk about how you will integrate these differences of belief into your life.

QM 8 Any Fears about Getting Married

It’s perfectly natural to have fears and doubts about getting married. Often we worry that we may end up a clichéd married couple with no sex life, nothing to say to each other and no mystery and romance in our relationship. But talking through those fears with your partner is the best way to see whether they are any basis for concern.

“A good way to start this kind of conversation is to discuss your own parents’ marriage,” says Gibson. “Talk about the things you learned from watching your mum and dad that you feel your relationship would benefit from the things you didn’t like about their relationship that you definitely don’t want to repeat.”

Having this discussion is a good starting point for forming an idea of how you want your relationship – by pooling what you both value to give your marriage all the features that will make it stronger and closer. Though you may divert sometimes and you won’t always be able to behave like perfect partners – it’s helpful to enter married life with an idea of what you want so you have a blueprint for how to achieve happiness now and forever.

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You feel love, appreciate, respect, regret, lucky, bless, happy and honour and don’t know how to express it in the right way. Your thought is your dream and your word is the truth. You afraid the words you want to say not good enough or might be hurt others. It’s never been easy to say words especially if you want to spell it out to someone special. Whether they are your friends, colleagues, parents or even your love one, whatever you say to them will give a thousand meaning and will determine your relationship in future and at the same time enrich and improve your relationship too. To say the best words to express your feeling, you not need a night to think or make a composition.

Only a simple words can explain everything in your heart – details and meaningful. Dragging a word might be bored to hear, longer time to explain, not effective and not clean too. You might be out of track during the explanation. So, how to make it simple, meaningful and appreciate by your partners? Some of the most significant messages human deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, these statements have a power to forge new friendship, deepen old ones and restore those that have cooled. It’s amazing how three words can do so much for your relationship. And no, we’re not talking about “I Love You”. Read on for 7 meaningful three-word phrases that can enrich every relationship.    

Magic #1 I Respect You   

Respect is another way of showing a person you love. A respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship. One father and son relationship that benefited greatly because of respect was that Henry Winters Luce and his son, Henry Luce, founder of Time-Life, which was the original publishers of Time, Fortune, and the now defunct Life Magazines. Although Luce one of the wealthiest and most influential publishers in history met many fascinating people, his thought often went back to his father. The elder Luce was a missionary-educator in Shantung, China. During the evenings father and son would go for long walks. On those excursions the father talked to his son as if he were and adult. Henry Winters spoke of the problems of administering a school, and explored philosophical matters and political issues with his son. “He treated me as if I were his equal,” said Lucy. As a result, their bond was tight. They transcended the father-son relationship to become good, close friends. Both father and son were nourished by the relationship because it was based on manual respect.

Magic #2 Maybe You’re Right     

This phrase is highly effective in defusing an argument restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of “maybe you’re right” is an act of humility which indicates “maybe I’m wrong”. A good example is George Washington. When the future American President campaigned for election to Virginia State Assembly in 1755, one of his speeches offended a proud man named Thomas Payne. The hot-tempered Payne grabbed a hickory branch and knocked the much bigger Washington to the ground. The next day Washington went to a restaurant frequented by Payne demanding to see him. Payne thought he was going to be challenged to a duel. Instead, Washington apologised, retracted his offending comment and asked to shake hands in friendship.

Magic #3 Let Me Help 

The best friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt, they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help. Consider this letter of appreciation written to the editors of People magazine by Maria Moriarity of Calabasas Park, California, USA, after the magazine published a feature on actress Jamie Lee Curtis. “While working on the set of True Lies in Florida, my son and his wife had to rush their baby to the hospital due to a high fever. Jamie Lee Curtis baby-sat their two other sons all evening in their hotel room. I always knew she was a star, but when I heard about this I was impressed with her graciousness.

Magic #4 I Thank You

Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to their parents for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose friendship severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude. Movie and television actor Benjamin J. Stein notes that people who are “routinely rude” not only have a limited personal life but are also professionally unsuccessful. “I can tell when someone will complain about the food,” Stein said. “If he’s a failure, he’ll have a condescending attitude and not thank me for dinner. If he’s a success, He’ll be happy with almost anything and thank me graciously”.  

Magic #5 Count On Me

“A friend is one who walks in when others walk out,” observed Walter Winchell, newspaper and radio commentator. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship. Loyalty is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships are steady band true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating “you can count on me.” If tragedy strikes, a loyal friend will provide whatever support and comfort is possible. Actress Angela Landsbury is a person whom friends know they can count on. After 10 amazing seasons as Jessica Fletcher on CBS’s Murder, She Wrote, Landsbury had clout as star and producer of the show. She used her influence to ensure guest appearances for her unemployed friends from film days including Kathryn Grayson, Gloria DeHaven, Julie Adams and Ruth Roman.   

When she learned that actress Madlyn Rhue was suffering from multiple sclerosis and needed a part so that she could qualify for Screen Actors Guild benefits, she quickly signed her to play a librarian in an episode. Loyalty and dependability are always characteristics of people who place a high premium on relationships.

Magic #6 I Understand You

People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person is accepting and understanding. Dr john Gottman is a psychologist at the University of Washington who has studied more than 2,000 married couples. In his book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Dr Gottman stresses the importance of acceptance and understanding. Although his comment is directed to married couples, his advice is applicable to any relationship. “Letting your spouse know in so many little ways you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.”

Magic #7 Go For It   

Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in their pursuit of their interests. “Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness. Everyone has dreams, dreams that no one else has and you can make yourself loved by encouraging those aspirations,” said Dr Alan Loy McGinnis, author of The Friendship Factor. Although Mary Jane, a hospital administrator, had an MBA and an excellent position she always wanted to study low and provide legal services for low income people.

“When I told my family I intended to give up on my job, return to law school and, after graduation, work with the poor, they were quick to voice their objections. Their harsh comments and hasty judgements about my future really strained our relationship. However, the lone supportive voice came from my youngest brother. Quietly but consistently he said, ‘Mary Jane, go for it. Follow your dreams.’ I graduated from law school two years ago and find great fulfilment in my work. Not surprisingly, it is my brother and I who have the tightest bond within our family.”

Getting the support you need when no one else seems to believe in you can be very inspiring, and it spurs you to greater heights. So, learn to encourage, it can be one of the most rewarding things you can do for another person.

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Hard to believe and imagine? But it’s really happen in few relationships where men really don’t want to have sex. I know what move in your mind now. Does he homo type or sick @#%$&? Whatever….Maybe….However there’re other reason that you might want to know. You know the drill right? With the exception of a few monk types who have meditated their libidos into submission, there’s not a man alive who wouldn’t jump at the chance to do the horizontal cha-cha. Driven by man dicks and aroused by everything from a brisk walk in corduroy to Nigella Lawson, the theory goes that man in possession of a heat-seeking moisture missile that’s continually primed and ready for action. So why would a man choose not to make jiggy when you put forward the invitation. Well, as they say in classics, it’s not you, it’s him – mostly.

Reason #1 Thanks But No

At first, this is going to sound as preposterous as the words, “And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to … Britney Spears” but hear me out. After a year or seven of slutting it up with any woman who would fall for his insincere compliments, a certain proportion of men realise that they have been shoring up their crumbling self-esteem by accumulating bed mates and decide to do things differently for a change. One of the revelations they come to is that just because a woman wants to sleep with them, it doesn’t mean they have to take up the offer. He’s had his fill of shallow, recreational sex and is now prepared to wait for a real connection. Don’t be discouraged by the fact that he doesn’t identify you as a sign of respect. Which will be easier to do when you consider his alternative: Bedding you just because he could!

Reason #2 Upping The Ante

Warning, warning: There are some despicable playas out there who will work the predominant misconception that any man will sleep with any willing woman to their advantage. Their MO is as malignant as it is effective and it goes like this: By pretending they are not physically attracted to a woman, they insidiously play on her insecurities, which make her try harder to make him succumb to her fleshy charms. The further he retreats, the more the pursues and when he finally give in, he gets a lusty vixen hell-bent on conquest. The reason this ploy works is that woman are usually the hunted in this scenario and the guy who flips the equation is counting on the fact that she will have had little experience with rejection. This is primo manipulation, so don’t let him use your self-esteem against you.

Reason #3 A Beautiful Friendship  

Grab the dustpan and broom because another male misconception is about to be shattered. When our hormones don’t hijack the project in its early stages and we manage to establish a platonic relationship with a woman, we cherish it more than you know. Having a impartial yet caring buddy who can advice us on everything from gifts for girlfriends, fashion faux pas and relationship troubles is an asset that many a man would not risk damaging through sex. Despite the fact this platform of respect and trust would be the ideal breeding ground for a relationship, he won’t see the irony. Of course, he’s imagined you naked but he won’t make it a reality as bitter experience has taught him that sleeping with friends invariably changes the nature of the relationship and he values what he has with you too much to take that chance.

Reason #4 Handle With Care 

A generation ago, your average bloke had a can on his chest, a beer belly below it and felt pretty good about both. Today, however, we live in the era of equal opportunity unrealistic body expectations and are battling many of the issues that women have faced for decades. Overweight celebs are ridiculed in the press, six packed, cap-toothed himbos are used to selling everything from soft drink to flu medication, and single girls recoil in horror at the thought of a hirsute back or shoulders. Men have had to lift their game, but some have also fallen prey to the paranoia that he might not measure up in the physique stakes and is therefore reluctant to get naked. Granted, many guys have egos that effortlessly vault such concerns, but there are a significant few who’d rather delay sex until the crunches kick in than have you be put off his bod.

Reason #5 Oops, I Did It Again

Just as with their bodies, men have had to put some work into their sexual technique. Your modern woman demands and deserves satisfaction. She wants foreplay, an orgasm before yours and a bit of emotional connection in the afterglow. For a bloke with a tendency to shoot off his fireworks before the end of the parade, this can be an intimidating scenario. Especially since the thrill of sex with someone for the first time tends to hasten what is already happening way, way, way too soon. Rather than find himself in a situation where a woman he “almost” made orgasm is telling him not to worry because it happens to lots of guys, a minority of men might seek to put the sex on hold until he can figure out a preventive technique.  

Reason #6 Novelty Factor: Zero

As time passes in a relationship, the sexual heat invariably fades and it’s only naturally that you aren’t jumping each other’s bones with the frequency and passion you did early on. As long as both participants have cooled to the same degree, this is no biggie. If, however, your libido is out powering his and he doesn’t seem that interested, you’ve got two choices: Battery-powered assistance or injecting spice into your love life by adding new tricks to your repertoire such as outfits or positions. Before continuing, I should point out that keeping your sex life fresh is not your sole responsibility and he has to contribute too, but the reason he may not be that keen on doing the rumpy-pumpy is that the reward is not worth the routine. Yes, even a man can find sex a bit ho-hum.   

Reason #7 Busy, Busy, Busy

For some guys, getting their rocks off is the ultimate stress-relief as it combines physical exertion with an endorphin rush. For others, a hectic work schedule, the ever-present threat of company redundancies and even studying can depress their libido to such a degree that it might as well have been listening to Evanescence for a week. Because many men don’t vocalise the effect stress and pressure might be having on them, it is internalised and manifests itself in the form of a lowered immune system (leading to never ending bouts of flu), a lack of energy and a shortness of temper. If he likes a drink at times like these, he’s even less likely to want to have sex. Fact: Alcohol is a depressant. While it may make him feel horny, the effect that enough of it has on south of the equator can be summed up in three words: Cute but floppy. Add a poor diet and little exercise to the mix and it’s a wonder he can get himself up in the morning – let alone Mr Happy.

Reason #8 You’re Not Alone 

Women have a uncanny ability to know when their man has been with someone else. Forget a strange perfume or lipstick mark; even the way he kisses can give it away. Men know this and the reason he may not want to have sex with you is that he’s petrified of somehow giving the game away. Of course, this is not the smartest move as you’ll probably put one and one together and get the fact he’s getting his once rampant needs met elsewhere. If it gets to stage the stage where having sex with you feels like a chore he undertakes to keep up pretence, the frequency will dwindle as sure as Backstreet Boys will never have another hit. In addition to this, there probably just won’t be enough of him to go round and you will be the lover who’s rationed first.

Reason #9 Bargain Basement   

There is only one instance in which a man will refuse to sleep with you out of spite and that’s if he feels you have used sex as a bargaining tool in the relationship. For example, if he does/says/buys X, you will reward him by doing Y in bed. This exercise in power is carried out by only a minority of women who soon find out that it comes back to bite them as no one likes being played. Not least a man who believes that you might actually just want to have sex with him because you find him attractive, funny, loving or whatever. Dangling the promise of carnal treats will not make him want you more. In fact, do so persistently enough and he will begin to wonder whether you walk the walk as good as you talk to talk.

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As a woman, it’s not easy to manage people especially if you’re working around men or people who much older than you. You’re powerful but nobody like you. It clearly shows that you’re not using the power you have effectively and subtly. The most powerful person must be strong in knowledge, to be loves, to be respects, easy work with others, high tolerance, understanding, good planning, manage effectively, etc. Contrary to popular belief, power is really a nasty beast that can easily get out of control. However, it can be tamed if you know how to control yourself from inside outside.

Power is not all petunias and orchids. First, there’s the constant resentment you’ve to deal with among subordinates – especially if there’re older than you. The constant bickering that goes on behind your back, making your job a friendless one. And the responsibility: You’re accountable for your team’s performance. Power is nasty thing indeed. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If used with care, power can help you achieved much more. Just remember the golden rule about getting people to do what you want: Making them want to do it.

Golden Rule # 1 Be Likeable

To be likeable by everyone is almost possible to be achieved.  That’s why people always says “We’re not living to satisfying everyone’s needs” especially we as humans that never feel satisfied with what we’ve had and had been given. Think back to when you were in school. You can perhaps recall how you had to elect people into positions of power: The class monitor, head perfect, club president. Now, ask yourself why you elected whoever you did. It’s probably because you liked her. This business of being likeable cannot be trivialised. It’s hard to give your subordinate everything he wants. There is a solution, though. As a woman in power, you’re in a position to grant his that feeling of importance. Do so, and he’ll like you. There’s nothing better than having subordinates that like you.

Golden Rule #2 Avoid Making Enemies  

We’ve all got an enemy or two at work, someone either above us or below us, waiting for his or her change to plot our downfall. But enemies and allies are cultivated, not made. If you’re already a likeable woman, then you’ve no doubt wont over your subordinates. Now, what about your peers? Your superior? How you can avoid turning them into enemies? The simple answer is not to offend them. You can do that by not telling them they’re wrong to their face. Instead find more diplomatic ways of bringing them around to your point of view. An easy way to do that is to feign ignorance….if only for a while. If your boss has asked you to do a project you know is doomed to failure, do not tell him straight-faced that it’ll never work. Instead, say something like, “You think it will work? I thought it wouldn’t. I could be wrong, of course. But let’s go over this again, just to be sure…..” See? The easiest way to avoid making enemies is to not unto them what you’d not want them to do unto you.

Golden Rule #3 Keep Your Power Secret

Much as we’d like to give our subordinates everything they want, sometimes it really is just not possible. Example, like changing his working hours, for instance: You may be powerful, but you’re not that powerful. Yet, how are you to convey the message to him without losing his respect? Easy: By never promising him anything. If you get into the habit of saying YES to every request, there’re going to come to expect that response, no matter what. Instead, say “I’ll try,” even for really easy stuff. You know you can get him a new PC, but there’s no need for him to know it. When he does get his new machine, he’ll like you very much for trying hard to get it for him. There might even be a glimmer of respect. But he didn’t really think you could do it – therein lies your ace.

As long as you keep him guessing about how powerful you really are in the company, two great things will happen: First, won’t come running to you every time he needs something – his first course of action will be to try and figure it out himself. Second, he’s not going to campaign against you because he’s under the impression that you’re nobody anyway. This makes it easier to work with him and vice versa. Power is useful when people can recognise it. But sometimes, it’s even more useful when they can’t.   

Golden Rule #4 Double Your Power

We can become incredibly self-centred when it comes to preserving our power. But have you considered how you could use your subordinates to compound the power you already have? By thinking of them as allies instead of subordinates, you expand your power base over twofold: Your knowledge, their knowledge, and the combined synergy of both. But your subordinate must first feel he has some sort of power to begin with. To do this, help build him a reputation he must live up to you. You have a reputation. Perhaps you’re a gifted marketer – you make sure your sales never hit a slump. Similarly, once you recognize a particular talent in him (say he’s a good speaker), give him the opportunity to shine. Let him carve a name for himself. With his presentation skills and your acute marketing instinct, you’re a killer team. Your power base can only grow stronger.

Golden Rule #5 Praise, Don’t Criticise

Being in positions of power, we’re often tempted to flaunt it by criticising subordinates. Criticism is bad any way you look at it. Encouragement is a better bet. Make subordinates feel the need to improves themselves – not get another job! End Result? The subordinate is on continues improvement curve, and you get a competent worker. Criticising a person’s failures will only compound his belief that he’s not up to task. Motivating him to keep going, however, will make him rise to the challenge.